I was torn about starting this blog. On the one hand, I want this to be a blog where I share lessons I learn mostly from my brokenness. On the other hand it feels like a very egotistical thing… Like I am saying let me show you how I have it together. When talking to my brother about setting up the blog, I even joked about breaking his server with all the traffic I will bring. But I was still hesitant was this what God would want me to do?
I was challenged not to think about “Is this what God wants for me,” but rather “will this bring me closer to God.” I quibbled: My pastor and I both thought that we were focusing more on God in our consideration. This really gets technical but I was looking at the subject of the sentence (God wants vs me moving), and he was looking at the object of the action (for me vs closer to God ). I want to do the blog, and don’t see God opposing it, because I blame the technological barriers on my ignorance and malevolent sources. So It turns out that the question “will it draw me closer to God?” is a better question.
Then the decision solidified for me while I sat in my last FirstLight meeting (for now). I had just shared work on surrendering to God, like why I don’t want to surrender and what it might look like if I did. And the leader went into a little discussion on humility. He talked about humility being power submitted to control… I took this to be the control of the Spirit. This really focused the idea of the chipped dish. The whole point is not me or my powerful thoughts; it is the submission of all of me: power and brokenness.
Toward the end of my share I said that I am not sure what it really looks like to be submitted to God or to taste and see that God is good. The whole point of “chippeddish.com” is this: acknowledging that I don’t have it together, but I do seek the kingdom of God who does have it together. 2 Corinthians 12:10 ESV For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This is effectively open journal. I don’t want to confuse anyone reading this blog. My posts are not going to be scripture, though I may reference the bible. They may not even be theologically sound, though I hope not to be a heretic. My posts are going to be hopefully a way to externally process the fact that I am a chipped dish, ruminations on life around me, and wrestling with what God is doing. I hope you will engage the thoughts, provide insight your own, and encourage the better way